Chapter 3: Fancy a threesome?
In between Chris and “The Soldier”, there was Tony. Tony was very nice, but a bit wishy washy. I felt bad for Tony, as he was quite keen on seeing me again, but I genuinely didn’t feel any chemistry between us. He also had fairly bad teeth, which I couldn’t take my eyes off, or ignore if we were to pursue any form of relationship, so Tony was a cup of tea and nothing more. I’m sure he’d make a lovely boyfriend; he was one of the “good guys”. Bless.
“The Soldier”. Cannot for the life of me remember his name so am not even going to bother trying to make up a name. Actually am not sure he warrants a makey-uppy name anyway, on account of his behaviour!
I got an email from “The Soldier” on a Wednesday. He was fairly flirty from the off, and quite good looking, with nice teeth, so I was happy to chat and see what he had to say for himself.
Turned out the soldier was visiting his family north of the border while he was on leave for the Christmas holidays, and was therefore at somewhat of a loose end. When he asked me for a date after about 10 emails I did think “oooh he’s keen” and a bit put off by his speedy nature. On the other hand, there was an element of thought as to, well, I might as well meet and see if I like him, otherwise… Next! The Soldier asked me for a date on the Friday, which I originally declined because I was working. “No problem!” said The Soldier, “I’ll come to you”. Ooh. Keen AND decisive! Surely this is a good sign?
The Soldier arrived to meet me from work, and whilst I had warned him that I would probably look a state on account of having an outdoorsy job and my hair would be a riot, he promised he wouldn’t mind. We had arranged to meet in the public car park in the village, and he had already told me he drove a red sports car, so I recognised him straight away. Tall, dark and even better looking than his photos, he strode towards me and planted a kiss on my cheek. Ooh, things were looking up!
Our date took place in the local pub which was deserted apart from one man and his dog, so we nestled ourselves next to the roaring log fire and proceeded with the usual date “chat”; “where are you from”, “what’s your job like” etc etc. Fairly innocuous stuff. After about an hour of chit-chat, The Soldier said something like: “You seem like a nice girl, so can I be honest?”. “Why of course” I said, “Please do, I can’t be bothered with anything else!”.
“Right, well..” said the Soldier, “I’m actually really only looking for sex. I already have a girlfriend who lives down near my Barracks, but she doesn’t know I’m on this website.”
Trying not to choke on my Diet Coke I surprisingly calmly look him right in the eye and say.. “Hmm.. that’s very nice, but that’s not really why I’m here”.
“No, I didn’t think you were”, said the Soldier.
I walked him back to his car shortly after that (I’m far too well-mannered apparently!) and the Soldier said “..Actually my girlfriend is coming up for Hogmanay; if you don’t have any plans, would you like to join us?”
“That’s very kind of you”, I said, “but I’m definitely busy that night”.